I am not a patient person. Not any more. At least, not when it comes to the things that give meaning to my life – the things I believe in and care about – the things that come with aging.
Blame it on the years, and their constant passing. (Time isn’t patient. Why, then, should I be?)
Then again, time isn’t to blame. Nothing is to blame, really.
Virtue being what it is, I guess this admission doesn’t earn me points in the after life. Actually, it’s sometimes been my undoing in this life as well. So be it.
I push myself – just like you push yourself – because that’s the mindset we all grew up believing we had to have to succeed in life’s first half. (Okay, so some beliefs are a little more faulty than others.) And we both know that pushing and patience are, at the very least, contradictory.
So when I’m stuck in overdrive on whatever midlife imperative I happen to be traveling, telling me to hit the break and shift to low gear without so much as a flashing yellow light to guide me . . . probably not a good idea.
But things just like that are what happen to us all the time in midlife, don’t they? You bet.
Everything Changes In Life’s 3rd Quarter
Somewhere in life’s third quarter, a voice starts whispering in our ear and telling us to slow down . . take time to gain a little perspective . . have patience . .start living up to your true purpose . . NOW!
And questions we really aren’t in the mood or mindset to deal with start filtering through the static of our thinking. We try to ignore them, but we can’t . . because we CAN’T.
What are they saying?
You know what they’re saying. You’ve heard them, too:
Slow down.
It’s time to start slowing down.
Look around. Pay attention.
Look inside. Why are you REALLY here?
Why are you ignoring what you say matters to you?
What happened to the passion you once had for ………………… what was that again?
It’s still here, waiting for you.
Over here. It’s right where you left it back when you were younger, and you believed all things were possible.
It’s time. No one else came along to take your place in line while you were gone.
They couldn’t. It’s your place. They have their own meanings to find. This one is yours.
I’m not leaving. You can’t close your eyes and make me go this time.
We have work to do. What’s taking you so long!
Remember? We were going to save the world.
It’s time.
Slow down. Your passion is waiting for you to catch up.
When are you going to start living up to your true purpose, if not now?
What Am I Really Asking Of Me?!
Passion. Slow down. True purpose. Waiting for me to catch up?!
Save the world?! What!???
It can’t be serious, can it? After all, it’s just a voice in my middle-aged head. That could be the second coming of a bad dinner.
Then again …………..
What if something in me really is trying to tell me something? What if something HAS changed in me?
The drive to change to a different way of seeing things – and the priority of things – isn’t one I’ve welcomed easily into my life (obviously).
And after 50+ years, I know well enough that change never comes without expecting something of us – of me. (Maybe that’s why I’m often so slow to adapt. Change wants something from me – most likely some of my already over-stretched time.)
Thinking back though, was it any easier to go from being a child to an adult? No. No easier . . just different. Different expectations. Different imperatives.
It’s just that I’m hauling around so much more baggage now.
And something in me keeps telling me to shift gears . . to slow down . . to unload a little . . and to be more patient with myself and the world that spins round me.
Can’t it I see how busy I am?!
Then again, I’m always busy. That doesn’t necessarily mean much in the overall scheme of things. What if my busy-ness is just a cover?
Then again, what business does my aging think it has to expect anything of me! Who does it think it is!
Slow down. Be patient. Save the world?
The Trouble With Patience
That’s the catch, isn’t it? The old “Patience is a virtue” routine.
But patience isn’t a virtue. Well, maybe it is, but not when it comes to fueling the fire of purpose.
The way I see it: It’s important to be patient with myself as I explore all the possibilities. But that’s where the patience ends, damn it!
Once I understand all the ways my values and abilities might feed into creating “something of significance” to share . . to help in some way . . to turn meaning into substance . . it becomes my responsibility to do that and be that with all my heart.
No patience needed. No patience intended.
Children have a way of living life straight up. Nothing patient. Nothing diluted.
It’s been years since I was a child. But the passing of time hasn’t been wasted on me. And I know that when something matters . . when something matters so much that it resonates with me at the very core of my being . . patience must take a back seat to purpose.
There’s nothing wrong with patience.
Be patient with yourself.
Be patient with those you love, and others like yourself who are looking for answers.
However, there’s no virtue to be gained in over-indulging our patience in life’s third quarter. Life is short. There’s too much to be done to sit around coddling our “what if’s” and hesitations.
If I expect my life to have meaning beyond that which is simply a function of my existing, I have to become that meaning. What better time than now to start?
After all, the only virtue in aging patiently . . . . is NOT.
And the only real way to waste a life is to live it half way – or not at all.
Don’t let YOUR old age catch up with you before you’ve figured things out for yourself.
Keep growing my friend,
Gail
Are you patiently waiting for your old age to arrive? And what then? What do you imagine might change for you if you started digging for meaning and acting on your purpose now – while you have the time, ability, and resources to really make magic happen?
(Just a thought, of course) Take a moment from your busy day, and share your thoughts.
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