Comments on: Life Is Crazy: Nurture Yourself

By: Gail McConnon

Gail McConnon — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 20:01:41 +0000

Aha! There’s the glitch! Let’s take a quick look at your definition of “mid-life”, Ms Bonnie. The way I read your note, you have the whole of mid-life crammed down to one teensy-weensy point in time – the assumed exact mid-point . . whatever that might end up to be. I, on the other hand, see mid-life as being somewhere – anywhere – between the beginning and the end. Usually I focus that down just a bit to the years between about 40 and 75. But, I’m flexible.

So you see, my friend, you’re at midlife as long as you choose to be. Hell, you’re at midlife at 99 as long as you haven’t bought into some old scrooge’s idea that says otherwise. It’s all a state of mind in my picture of the world.

As for the trap you found yourself falling into: There’s no need to explain. Traps like that are all over the place. We step into them. We step out of them. Of course, they’re of our own creation so we get to choose which ones we want to fall into – even when we don’t realize the choice was ours all along.

It’s all about staying in the moment, whatever that moment might be. And it’s about remembering that we deserve as much love and loving care as everyone around us.

Keep paddling my friend. Shore’s just over the horizon. – gail

By: Bonnie McFarland

Bonnie McFarland — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 19:07:43 +0000

I do, indeed, know what you mean, Gail. I’ve just turned 60 so I’m no longer at mid-life (unless I’m living to 120 which I doubt). And still I fell into the no time for me trap. You think I’d know better by now. In my defense , this is rare for me and in this case we were deep in the midst of a family crisis.

I’m glad I saved the ship too. Much more fun than going down with it!

By: Gail McConnon

Gail McConnon — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 13:26:42 +0000

You DO know what I mean, don’t you Bonnie. And we do it to ourselves all the time. In fact, for far too many amazing and over-stressed midlifers, this sort of putting ourselves at the end of the line becomes a way of life. The sad thing is: This is no way to live. It also isn’t necessary.

When it comes right down to it, the only way to care for and about others is to care for and about ourselves.

BTW: I’m glad you saved “the ship”. – gail

By: Bonnie McFarland

Bonnie McFarland — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 01:40:39 +0000

You are so right, Gail, about putting our own oxygen masks on first. This past month I have had a vivid lesson about what happpens when I don’t do this (even though self care is a key part of what I teach & coach other women to do!)

I almost went “down with the ship” until I “reversed my course.” I’ve been blogging about this recently, too. It is so critical!