A Magic Word For Times When Life Gets Hard

Sometimes life is just harder than it needs to be. Given the state of the economy, jobs and such, a lot of highly qualified “too young to retire” people are feeling it now. Maybe YOU are one of them. I know a lot of times I am.

And when this sort of thing has been dragging on for more than a few seconds minutes weeks months or so, if you’re anything like me, you have a bad habit of beating yourself up for all the things that aren’t cooperating in the state of your life.

Poor us. After all, it’s all our fault, right?

The thing is, there’s another whole boatload of people who are just like us – unemployed, underemployed, self-employed . . doing their damnedest to make ends meet . . scared senseless – who don’t seem to be stepping up and taking responsibility for their failure to thrive kicking themselves for what’s going on.  They even – dare I say it – seem hopeful.

Okay, so the rest of us want to stomp them like bugs underfoot! But, do you think that – just maybe – they know something we don’t?

Can you imagine, just for a minute mind you, that the negative energy we keep throwing at the difficulties we’re all facing might actually be what’s keeping us down, or at least contributing in a big way?

Even more, doesn’t it seem to make just a little sense that: If we weren’t so far down the rabbit hole and bundled up in our own stuff that we can hardly see a way out, we might find a different way of looking at the things we’ve wrapped ourselves in? They aren’t keeping us warm, after all. They’re just making it hard to move.

Maybe if we could unbundle some of the many issues that are keeping us stuck, and strip them down to their most basic skivvies, we’d be able to see them in a different and far less menacing light . . you know . . kind of all pale and goose-bumpy.  And maybe we, too, could then see beyond them (after we’d stopped snickering at their puny goose bumpy nickers, of course).

But we both know that’s not all it takes to change our thinking from survival mode to something more akin to self assurance. Some other kind of magic must be required. But what? And what might it take to capture that thing, and make it our own?

Well, let me tell you: You got the “magic” part right. But you’re looking for it in the wrong place. It’s not a pill you take, or a secret spell you wish upon yourself.

Nope. It’s a word. It’s a very special word.

Let me explain:

Have you ever heard someone say something that, for all its seeming simplicity, was able to cut through the piles of nasty self-talk you’d been piling up in your personal “DumbDumbDumbDumbMe” inner world . . and create a space for the light to soften the hard just a little?

In my case, it was a single word, said in just the right context at just the right moment in time. Quick as a thought, I imagined new possibilities. Maybe not big ones, but most definitely new ones.

And that was all it took to bring me out of the glum and back to a clearer-headed version of my senses.

Just one word. Nothing special by itself.

Yet, a door opened and bid me to walk through.

Let me explain:

A friend and I got together to chat at one of the local coffee shops the other day.

If you’re a coffee shop “regular”, you already know that what starts out as simple chatting in such conversationally-enticing places often needs very little time or encouragement to head into deeper waters.

So, there we were, chatting about all manner of personal/social/economic and general life defining hard stuff. And the stories grew. And the questions grew. And deeper down the rabbit hole we went.

(Actually, I was the one who had asked if we could meet because I was having a tough day. And Amy, being the good friend and supportive listener she is, was listening.)

Soon, though, she was right in the hard with me. I don’t think either of us realized how closely our lives and thinking paralleled.

So not only did she say she could understand, she DID understand because she was dealing with the same kinds of crap hard difficult stuff as I.

Okay, different names . . different specifics . . but totally same stuff . . which didn’t, of course, hurt since it’s a lot easier to share the hard with someone who’s knee-deep in the same sort of stew than someone who hasn’t even dangled their toe in it.

Anyway, we could have been standing side by side in that difficult brew I’d concocted. I added the carrots. Amy tossed in the onions. I sliced up the money worries. Amy chopped and diced a whole bus load of “what if’s”.  The recipe was written by different hands, but it was the same recipe – the same recipe I’m willing to bet you follow as well.

But . .

Except . .

There was a difference. Ever so slight at first.

Wait! There it was again!

As quickly as the conversation was developing, I didn’t catch it at first. But when I did, and my eyes met hers, both of us burst into laughter.

The Magic In A Word

The fact is, it was just a word. A simple word. Oh, but it was a magical word.

What could it be . . this magical word . . you ask.

Quite simply, it was the tiny three-letter word “yet”.

Doesn’t look that impressive, does it? Oh, but it is truly magical.

You see, when we’re down that rabbit hole and all we can see is the darkness around us, the one thing we need is a small light. A tiny opening. Without that, the darkness wraps itself round us and fills us to the brim till it becomes us . . and ideas and options seem to disappear.

That little magical word, however, shines a light in the dark corners into which we sometimes cram ourselves. It shines just enough light to start the flow of possibility.

And when we’re that far down the hole of the impossible, possibility is the saving grace we need to see a way out.

Just think of it for a moment:

Nothing is final when the word “yet” is attached to it.

Nothing is absolute when “yet” is part of the equation.

And when you’re totally down on yourself for your big ideas that haven’t gone anywhere – yet . . Well, your plans and ideas and imaginings are still in play. You’re still feeding and watering and considering them. You’re nurturing them as a mother nurtures her offspring.

Ah yes. Magic happens when we give ourselves permission to keep dreams going.

Whatever it is that you always wanted to do, but haven’t done . . yet . . still has life.

Your great retirement idea, or business plan, that was side-lined by the economic downturn . . hasn’t gotten off the ground . . yet.

The book you have constructed in your head, but can’t take the time to get to, just isn’t written . . yet. It isn’t gone. It’s just waiting.

Do you see what I’m saying? We can’t fail if we haven’t given up . . yet. There’s still time for learning and doing as long as we believe there is  . . yet . . more to be learned and get done.

Things are hard for many of us right now, and that can take a terrible toll on how we come out of the mess our economy is now in. However, we aren’t down YET! And that may be just what’s needed for us to keep moving forward.

.   .   .   .   .

I know this isn’t a windfall answer to anything, but I hope it helps. It certainly helped me to see things a little differently.

Thank you for giving me a chance to share this.

Please let me know if you weave “yet” into your life and, if so, what that means to you. And if you don’t, do you have another magic word or words to help you when things are hard? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Keep growing my friend  - gail

Tagged as: economy, magic, recession, self-talk, the hard, YET